Christmas Carol Service в соборе Св. Павла, Лондон, 15 декабря

Впрочем, официально это называлось «The Celebration of Christmas». Основное отличие от традиционного Christmas Carol Service – чтения. Если в традиционном Christmas Carol Service чтения либо исключительно из Священного писания, либо что-то торжественное и серьезное, сегодняшние чтения были, скажем так, не очень традиционными. К примеру, в качестве одного из чтений была жалоба плотника Иосифа на турагентство, организовавшее его вояж в Вифлеем («… и нам пришлось сносить домогательства неких странных типов, именовавших себя волхвами, которые почему-то называли нашего сына сыном Божьим, да еще всучивали нам свои подарки – явно неспроста!»). Чтецами были, в числе прочих, Тоби Стивенс (тот самый, который играл Густава Грейвса в 007: Die Another Day) и Хайдн Гуинн (первая исполнительница роли миссис Уилкинсон в мюзикле «Билли Эллиот» в Лондоне и в Нью-Йорке). Музыкальное сопровождение обеспечивал не только орган собора, но и камерный оркестр City of London Sinfonia. Впрочем, это все-таки был не концерт: никаких аплодисментов между «номерами», пение гимнов всеми пришедшими, а также сбор пожертвований -

Разумеется, все началось с Once in royal David’s City (все); были также In the bleak mid-winter (хор и оркестр), In dulci jubilo (хор и оркестр), O little town of Bethlehem (все), The holly and the ivy (хор и оркестр), O come all ye faithful (все) и Hark! The herald angels sing (все), однако был еще очень популярный в США, но совершенно не исполняемый в Великобритании We wish you a Merry Christmas!

К сожалению, праздник омрачился двумя обстоятельствами. Во-первых, сидели мы в боковом нефе. Несмотря на то, что это было прямо перед пространством под куполом собора, все равно основной звук уходил совсем не в нашу сторону. Во-вторых, были допущены довольно серьезные огрехи в синхронизации оркестра и хора: довольно часто оркестр откровенно заглушал хор, а уж если прибавить страшенное эхо собора Св. Павла (на его наличие довольно часто намекают многие хористы, которым впервые приходится петь в этом соборе), то можете себе представить, что получилось. Похоже, сказывается несколько нетрадиционная биография нынешнего директора музыки собора Эндрю Карвуда (он начинал профессиональным певцом и никогда не был органистом).


А вот три произведения, которые использовались в качестве Рождественских чтений. Без перевода (переводить лень - пока, во вс. случае).

THE SECOND EPISTLE FROM JOSEPH TO THE CORINTHIANS

by Robert Salter

Dear Corinthians,

I acknowledge safe receipt of your epistle, in response to my epistle (commonly known, for reasons that escape me, as the first epistle to the Corinthians) concerning the recent sojourn with my wife, Mary, in Bethlehem or, as your brochure puts it, «the City of David». 

For a travel company of repute, both Mary and I find your explanations of the accommodation arrangements far from satisfactory.  If we have to make the journey again -- which I hope we do not in the light of what occurred once we were there -- it will most certainly not be with Corinthians 18-30 Holidays.

I offer the following response to your explanations:

I have looked again at your brochure.  I do not agree that the description of the Inn includes the outhouses.  The words ‘travellers with cattle can expect the use of the stables’ surely refers to the cattle, not the guests.  You may say that there are many worse off than ourselves -- unfortunately they all seem to have booked with your company.

2) You will have to take it from me that Mary giving birth to the Son of God was totally unexpected, and I can assure you that had I known that He was on the way I would have given you the opportunity of bringing in your PR people.

3) I agree with your proposition that from every point of view the story has more appeal set as it is in a stable rather than in the twin-bedded room with half board which we had booked.  I also agree that it was much more convenient for the angel to make his way across the yard and into the stable, rather than going through the resident’s lounge.  Of course, I accept that the presence of the entire heavenly host prising God along the corridor on the second floor of the Inn might have resulted in complaints from your other guests.  But that does not address my main complaint.  My wife, Mary, has little in common with shepherds.  It was bad enough having to cope with livestock in the stable, but having to face a deputation of local sheep-farmers, who claimed they were tired of abiding in their fields at night was not our idea of ‘local colour’.  Your decision to include them as an optional extra in next year’s brochure does not impress.

4) I know you are denying you had anything to do with the couriers who arrived from the east bearing gifts, but I still maintain that I had seen one of them in your office when I booked the trip.  I do not wish to appear ungrateful, but at a time when I was struggling with a newly born child, an exhausted wife, a group of fanatical shepherds, assorted livestock, an angel explaining my son was the Everlasting Father, and the entire heavenly host, the arrival of three Corinthian Holiday reps in fancy dress did little to help.  And, by the way, they could have left something a little more practical.

Yours very truly, Joseph

Christmas Thank You (by Nick Gowar):

Dear Auntie
Oh, what a nice jumper
I've always adored powder blue
and fancy you thinking of
orange and pink
for the stripes
how clever of you!

Dear Uncle
The soap is terrific
so useful and such a kind thought
and how did you guess that
I'd just used the last of
the soap that last Christmas brought?

Dear Gran
Many thanks for the hankies
Now I really can't wait for the 'flu
and the daisies embroidered
in red round the "M"
for Michael
how thoughtful of you!

Dear Cousin
What socks!
and the same sort you wear
so you must be
the last word in style
and I'm certain you're right that the
luminous green
will make me stand out a mile.

Dear Sister
I quite understand your concern
it's a risk sending jam in the post
But I think I've pulled out
all the big bits of glass
so it won't taste too sharp
spread on toast

Dear Grandad
Don't fret
I'm delighted
So don't think your gift will offend
I'm not at all hurt
that you gave up this year
and just sent me a fiver to spend.

from SHIRLEY VALENTINE

by Willy Russell

Well, when Brian learned he'd got the part of Joseph he was made up with himself. All the time he's rehearsin' this nativity play his behaviour is fantastic; the headmaster's made up with him. I'm made up with him, the teachers are made up with him. An' he's made up with himself. He's practisin', every night in his room – (on one note)

'We are weary travellers on our way to Bethlehem an' my wife is having a baby and we need rest at the inn for the night'. Well, the day of the show, I got down to the school, the play started an' it was lovely, y'know, all the little angels come on an' they all have a sly little wave to their mams. Then it was our Brian's entrance; he comes on an' he's pullin' this

donkey behind him – it's like this hobby-horse on wheels. An' perched on top of it is this little girl, takin' the part of the Virgin Mary an' she's dressed beautiful, y'know, her mother's really dolled her up to be the part. An' she's givin' a little wave to her mam. So Brian gives the donkey a bit of a tug because he's takin' it dead serious an' he doesn't believe they should be wavin' to their mams. He's up there, he's actin' like he might win the Oscar – y'know, he's mimin' givin' hay to the donkey an' he's pattin' it on the head. Well, the headmaster turned round an' smiled at me. I think he was as proud of our Brian as I was. Well, Brian gets to the door of the inn and he goes 'Knock, knock, knock' an' the little Innkeeper appears. Our Brian starts 'We are weary travellers on our way to Bethlehem an' my wife is havin' a baby an' we need to rest for the night at the inn'. So the little feller playin' the Innkeeper pipes up: 'You cannot stay at the inn because the inn is full up an' there is no room in the inn'. An' then our Brian is supposed to say somethin' like: 'Well, we must go an' find a lowly cattle shed an' stay in there'. Then he's supposed to go off pullin' the donkey an' the Virgin Mary behind him. But he didn't. Well, I don't know if it's the Virgin Mary, gettin' up our Brian's nose, because she's spent the whole scene wavin' to her mother, or whether it was just that our Brian suddenly realized that the part of Joseph wasn't as big as it had been cracked up to be. But whatever it was, instead of goin' off pullin' the donkey, he suddenly turned to the little Innkeeper an' yelled at him: 'Full up? Full up? But we booked!' Well, the poor little Innkeeper didn't know what day of the week it was.

He's lookin' all round the hall for someone to rescue him an' his bottom lip's beginnin' to tremble an' our Brian's goin', 'Full up? I've got the wife outside, waitin' with the donkey. She's expectin' a baby any minute now, there's snow everywhere in six-foot drifts an' you're tryin' to tell me that you're full up?' Well, the top brass on the front row are beginnin' to look a bit uncomfortable – they're beginnin' to turn and look at the headmaster an' our Brian's givin' a perfect imitation of his father, on a bad day; he's beratin' anythin' that dares move. The little Innkeeper's lip is goin' ten to the dozen an' the Virgin Mary's in floods of tears on the donkey. Well, the Innkeeper finally grasps that the script is well out of the window an' that he has to do somethin' about our Brian. So he steps forward an' he says, 'Listen mate, listen! I was only jokin'. We have got room really.

Y'can come in if y'want.' An' with that the three of them disappeared into the inn. End of nativity play an' end of our Brian's actin' career. Me an' our Brian, we sometimes have a laugh about it now, but at the time I could have died of shame. It was all over the papers: 'Mary And Joseph Fail To Arrive in Bethlehem.' I was ashamed.